When it comes to Him, I thought that I’d cried all my tears. Today I found out that I was wrong. I saw him in line at the homeless shelter… MY homeless shelter. I was dropping off some donations and then planning to work a few hours. When I saw him, he was just turning to look away from me. Our eyes didn’t meet, but I know he saw me. I was shaking as I pulled the donations from the trunk of my car. I wondered if he was watching me. I parked and I was crying before I even reached the building… uncontrollable tears streaming down my face. I don’t know why it hit me so hard. Don’t know why I couldn’t stop crying.
So many things hit me all at once. The man who I once committed to, the one I chose above all others, over everything else, the one I lived with and slept with and ate with and fought with and laughed with and grew with and suffered over… and cried over. HE was standing at the end of the line, and I cried. I cried for what we could have been. I cried for what he could have been. I cried for the hard times that were thrust upon him and the hard times he’s chosen to endure. I cried because although he can never be part of my life again, he’ll always have a piece of my soul and that part of my soul is aching.