Will I See the One I Fight For?

I’ve elected this my new theme song… for now.

When I discovered Ingrid Michaelson, I posted one of her songs here. It was love at first listen. Her music speaks to my soul, and after a listen or two her words seem (to me) to have come directly from my very core.

I turned 30 last month. I never decided whether it was a big deal or not, but 30 does seem significant. I’ve thought a lot about where I am and what I want out of life. I’m finally secure enough with myself to know and say that I am happy. I’ve discovered the importance of enjoying every moment possible. I’m not under the illusion that life is easy, but I’m well aware that life is LIFE! It’s what I’m here for. I have the amazing ability to create- and I can create anything I imagine if I work hard enough and smart enough.

So, I’m working and I’m learning. I’m living. When I allow myself a moment to think sometimes my thoughts drift to the love I’m still searching for or the family just waiting to be. It’s during those moments that this song is so well fitted to/for me.

I have taken a wrong turn
When will I learn. When will I learn?
Should I show them all my scars?
Cherry red bleeding burn

Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me

But if I look to my right, will I see the one I fight for
If I look to my right
Or if I turn to my left, will I see that I have kept my heart
Locked up, locked up so tight

Love, love, love is everywhere
But not a drop for me to drink
Tie me up and bind my feet
Drop me in and watch me sink

Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me

But if I look to my right, will I see the one I fight for
If I look to my right
Or if I turn to my left, will I see that I have kept my heart
Locked up, locked up

If I was 17 I could find it in-between
The cushions of somebody’s couch
I could find it. I could find it
If I was 17 I could find it in a dream
A dime a dozen kind of love
I could find it. I could find it
But I’m not 17 and I lost it in-between
The birthday cakes and fast mistakes
That roll by
Ba da ba ba da ba ba, ba da ba ba da ba da dum

But if I look to my right, will I see the one I fight for
If I look to my right
Or if I turn to my left, will I see that I have kept my heart
Locked up, locked up

Surprisingly, listening to this song always leaves me with hope because I can’t help but wonder, “If I look to my right will I see the one I fight for?”

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