Have you seen Max?


Some friends and I were walking to 7-11 at around 10 pm. This guy approached us and said,
“Hey, have you seen Max?”

Almost in unison we all said no.

So, he said, “Do you even know who Max is?” and none of us did so we all said no.

“Then how do you know if you’ve seen him?” he said. Then without letting us answer he started talking about posters for the missing Max that are posted around and cats, suddenly we were talking about cats.

He said, “Hey there’s these people over there, and they have a cage and it says CATS on it and they put out this water bottle and then some dried food, I think it’s not even cat food, I think it’s dog food and then they take an expired can of the wet food or tuna fish and they poison it. The cats are like, “No way am I eating that dry food, I don’t even want a drink, I’m goin’ for the good stuff” and then they die from food poisoning and it’s the Vietnamese people over there, they eat the cats. They eat them. And I’m not about to let that happen so I stand up for them, but that’s what happens they poison them. Hey, I got food poisoning once- I ate expedition sausage. What happened was this guy gave me sausage from 2002 that was expedition…. we got it out of the dumpster and I think he gave it to me on purpose to poison me, he was hoping I wouldn’t see the date on there – the 2002, I think he didn’t want me in his dumpster or something… but yeah, you probably saw this coming- or maybe you didn’t, do you have any money you can give me? change or anything? Every little bit helps.”

Craziness. Yes, absolute insanity. We gave him change and he was on his way again.

You had any expeditioned food lately?

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3 thoughts on “Have you seen Max?

  1. Hold on…I need a toothpick to get this expeditioned meat from betwixt my two front toothies…hehehehehe!It’s really great to see you Becca! I just about lost my mind this year but I got help, I needed help. This is a hilarious post!!!!!

  2. Good story for a panhandler. I lived in Atlanta for sometime and dealt with people begging for dollars and change for about 1 year. They all have unique stories on how they are traveling to the airport and need to be there before 6pm, could you spare $10 for my gas? After a while you wonder how much these guys (never gals) make during the course of a day, perhaps $100 or more. Thanks for the story- Great.

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