I don’t know of a single soul who doesn’t want to be loved for who they truly are. Yet there are people walking around everywhere who are pretending to be something they’re not, convincing themselves and those around them to believe a fairy tale. They paint a picture and expect it to last through the tests we are faced with. Unlike their body and soul this guise can not withstand the turbulent storms of life.

So, why? Why the facade? Why the misrepresentation? Why the self deception?

I know people who actually take comfort in the fairy tale world they’ve created around themselves. They don’t care to stray from it, and reject those who refuse to play along. For me, this is one of the most insulting forms of dishonesty. It’s a learned behaviour and sometimes it’s passed on for generations. The best and worst are those who actually believe the lies they tell. There are those who create illusions for their own gain whether it be personal or monetary. In the end is it worth it? Is it worth tossing a valuable soul into a sea of deceit and ignorance?

Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth. There are times when I’d much rather be anyone but myself, but the fact of the matter is: I can’t. Famous but true, the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” You can’t escape yourself, no matter how hard you try.

People change, and I’m not saying they won’t. I’m a very different person from who I was even just five years ago. Incorporating the lessons you’ve learned, the people you meet, and the knowledge you’ve gained into who you are and how you represent yourself shows strength and integrity. I once heard someone say that they didn’t regret making mistakes because if they hadn’t made them, they wouldn’t have learned how to make things right. It’s a difficult struggle that’s for sure, but worth it I think.

To be truly loved for who you are, you have to represent yourself honestly. You have to love yourself too. So, the challenge for me is to constantly strive to be myself while continuing on a path of progress, learning, hardship and change.

These are just my thoughts for the morning, and maybe it’s turned into a bit of a rant. If it has I apologize, but this is me, it’s who I am and I’m sharing it with you.


17 thoughts on “Facade

  1. Hey fellow Wonder Woman ^^. You’ve got a really nice page and I specially liked some of the pictures you’ve chosen (like the one for “What are your dreams?”). This “Facade” pic is cool too. I liked the text, and I think it’s great that you can share your thoughts about anything you like cause you’re being who you are ;)And I totally agree about the mistakes and learning from them. Sometimes it’s very hard to get over them, but if we look at ourselves now, it’s the things from the past, everything we’ve been through, what got us here.

  2. Whoa! Could there possibly be 2 Wonder Women? What would happen if both Wonder Women occupied the same space at the same time?

  3. Okay you’re the WonderWoman, but I didn’t know you’re also a mind reader.Cause this post reflects a whole lot of my thouhts and ideas exactly… lolI’d say the self-deception and the facade thing all stem from a basic need to “be someone that what they are not.”Remember Woody Allen’s saying: “My only regret in life is that I’m not someone else.”Lots of people (maybe everyone) are all the time pretending to be someone they’re not. They don’t realize what a mighty uphill task it is to do that. So why do they do it?A. They don’t like what they are.B. They just DON’T know what they are.They steadfastly continue with their ‘pretending’, and end up becoming ‘people pleasers’ or ‘people haters.’I used to suffer from this, too. A lot. I used to think I don’t have a mind of my own. It’s been a rather ‘long and winding’ path, but to cut it short, I found out that even if I don’t have a mind of my own, I do have a heart of my own.By that, I mean the inner voice. You listen to it, and you instinctively know what’s right and what’s not. One can never go wrong following your heart, or the inner voice. One will start respecting themselves. And suddenly, they will be respected just for being themselves. It’s a simple process really, but I think the media, the political hype, false propoganda about heroism and the very commercial nature of the world around us make it rather ‘difficult to be simple.’ Thanks for your post. (It made me think … for a change! lol)

  4. Thanks Zakman for the wonderful input! I can associate with a lot of the things you said. I always try to follow my heart, and it sounds as if you do to. We’ll be okay if we remember to stick with our hearts. ;)-WW

  5. But unfortunately most of the time when you are honest you hurt other people. It is not easy to hear the truth all the time. So sometimes is better to pretend

  6. I agree with you completely, Wonder Woman! I feel that it’s important to represent yourself honestly. I know a lot of people who pretend to be something else, which sucks because I always feel like they’re cheating themselves out of knowing who they really are. Then again, if they know enough to pretend to be someone else, then what must the real them be like? Just my two cents. On that note, I, too, wish I could be someone else from time to time. Unfortunatly that is simply not possible, so I read, I read about someone else, it fulfills my desire to escape my life for a tiny little bit. šŸ™‚

  7. Xigre-I disagree. Brutal honesty is one of the highest forms of respect. You don’t need to be mean to be honest. If you lovingly tell the truth, you show the person you’re communicating with that you respect them enough to handle what your saying and take from it what they will. I have friends who try to save my feelings, and then I have friends who tell it like it is. While sometimes the truth may sting, it’s always more helpful to me in the end.

  8. in a question of which is better: reality or fantasy, I’m most likely to say that fantasy is better because our perfect world exist there. i think some people just extend it to the real world that they would lie about things they never had, or about their true identity. sad really, but very common. it happens all the time!

  9. They paint a picture and expect it to last through the tests we are faced with… So, why? Why the facade? Why the misrepresentation? Why the self deception?Because I can only draw in stick figure… and it makes me look skinny. šŸ˜€

  10. A very concise interpretation of the whole dichotomy of people…Yes, most people are truly blended… in that sense. It is (by)product sometimes of the choices we made in the past. I would explain further, but it’s a long story…I got time.For me, I’ve moved alot, changed “friends” (sometimes lost them due to no fault of my own, other times, my fault completely) and sometimes you COME back around when time has changed everything.For example, in March 2000, I was going in the right direction in my life. With good choices, opportunities, friends and a place I liked. Just one thing was missing; and I tried to fill it. In fact: I was too honest to someone and it backfired on me.By April 2001, things were vastly different. And I knew it was going to hell. By 2003, all the work I did from 1990-2000 (adult life), was undone. Close and not so close Relationships, work, and the like. I was UNDONE.So, in 2007, I am far different. But if I run into someone I knew from 1999 or 2002, I have to put them into a category. What do they know? What do they care about – in our prior experiences? Is it important to go over negative ground? Do they spread these things around? Are they worth talking to? (Sometimes it is unavoidable…and who am I with? What do they know? (You DON’T tell everyone everything, do you?))I have not altered what I do in dealing with people. WYSIWYG – but I have feelings sometimes expressed badly. People often perceive us based on their ideals of what makes us successful or worth knowing. If you don’t fit that, and I don’t now, they make their decisions as to why you are not worthy.I’ve changed my identity as far as what possessions mean, what constitutes value to me and what I gain in friendships (or what I can give back to anyone)…But I am blunt, and not afraid to express myself. Tact is not a strong suit.And I had to learn something from my exp. in 2001.I would say brutal honest is much better than frauds…but be forewarned that some live and excel in their world of misinformation. True blue people are often the unhappiest due to vamps out there.Very good site!

  11. Wonderful post, and so much to think about. Sometimes I think people hide the pieces of themselves they wish they could change, thinking if they try hard enough and someone loves them for it they will become what they’re pretending to be. Sometimes learning to love yourself is hard, and its what we all have to do before someone else can know and love the real us.

  12. Pam, The necessity of self love is a lesson I’ve recently learned, and I plan on re-learning it too! It’s a constant struggle to stay on top. But it’s worth it if you’re true.

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