The questions that put the wonder in Wonder Woman

  • Does your chewing gum loose it’s flavor on the bedpost over night?
  • Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • Why are the numbers on a phone opposite of the numbers on an adding machine?
  • What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated or martyred instead of just murdered?
  • Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?
  • Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
  • Why doesn’t Wylie E. Coyote just buy dinner, instead of all of the faulty ACME crap?
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • Why do adults point at you with their finger and berate you: “It’s not polite to point!”
  • When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
  • When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
  • Why do people swear? It sounds like hell. (I swear it does)
  • Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’?
  • What’s another word for thesaurus?
  • Why do people say they’re sweating like a pig? PIGS DON’T SWEAT.
  • Do witches run spell checkers?
  • If a person uses fancy words would you say they’re talking in cursive?
  • Why do people pay to go to the top of big buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
  • Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
  • Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
  • What do you say if you’re talking to God, and he sneezes?
  • Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?
  • What do batteries run on?
  • If a wood chuck can chuck wood why is the phrase: “if a wood chuck could chuck wood” even in the stupid tongue twister?
  • When you see a solid red hand when you’re about to cross the street, you’re supposed to stop. Are you supposed to stop- go- stop- go- stop- go in accordance with the red flashing hand?
  • How do people always know when you’ve crossed the invisible line?
  • Why do people claim that you ate all the cookies when you only took the last one?
  • People always say “It’s always the last place you look.” Does anyone keep looking after they’ve found what they’re looking for?
  • Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say “Do Not Pass”?
  • Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
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10 thoughts on “The questions that put the wonder in Wonder Woman

  1. Regarding the turtle… Its naked because it wants to touch itself!Wonder Woman, thank you for all of the childhood fantasies and especially for creating under-roo underwear for when I was a kid! Also, thank you for the wonderful comment you’ve left me on my page!Please do have an especially enchanted evening.Mirage Chopper

  2. 1. My chewing gum goes in the trash when I’m done with it.2. Vegetarians should eat animal crakers because they taste good, They should also eat animals because God made them out of meat!3. Numbers on a phone have to be in order for people too stupid to use an adding machine.4. The Hokey Pokey is also about turning yourself around!5.They don’t have to be important. They just have to have something to do with race or religion.6. Pactice is good.7. I sleep like a baby. I get drunk, pass out and wake up every few hours.8.The turtle is naked and touching himself!9. Bend over baby, I’ll drive!10. Beep Beep!11. No12. Because they are rude. Fingers aren’t for pointing, they are for putting in things ;)13. Their signs say “on Strike”14. Cotton balls? What kinda fag buys cotton balls? 15. Why do people swear? I have no fucking idea!16. I don’t think so. I just know their women call me hot!17. Stupid book of synonyms18. Because they are uneducated morons19. Witches don’t run. They fly on brooms. C H E C K E R S. Did I spell it correctly?20. They are talking in cursive.21. Because they are too poor to pay for airfare.22. It would be called a walk, but Sometimes it’s called a crawl.23. Yes. It must use the carpool lane.24. Yessum!25. Because I’m so fucking awesome!26. Bless you.27. Artificial cavities.28. I’m drunk!29. A Woodchuck cannot chuck wood. It is an herbivore.30. The red flashing hand means if nobody is coming, I’m allowed to do a big, greasy burnout! 31. The invisible line is only invisible to you. We’re all out to get you!32. You know you ate all the cookies :)33. That depends on how fucked up I am!34. It wouldn’t be as fun if you weren’t breaking the law!35. Nope.36. I only imagine a world with endless meat, cheese and beer and rock music for all!

  3. A woodchuck can’t chuck wood, so what’s the point in saying he’s an a$$hole? Exactly. Because of the Rodent Rebellion of 1320, aka THE PLAGUE… muahahaha

  4. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?yes – it can..i got to know that at a defensive driving class…on a similar note, a pregnant lady cannot use HOV lane, even though technically there are two ‘breathing humans’ in the car..:)

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